There is no other sin so disgusting and debasing for humanity and the Lord than that of lust. And no other sin is as pervasive in this world. We see the dark spirit of lust prevailing everywhere. Rarely do we find a woman or man who hasn’t yielded to lust of their own will. The spirit of lust knocks at every door, opens gates to many houses and windows to many hearts. It softens the most unshakable convictions, makes a cult of the body and makes the sin seem quite insignificant. Lust is a cancer that, once caught, seems incurable. But lust can indeed be overcome, with help from Christ and His Church. In Christ there is always hope for repentance, redemption, and salvation.
8 minutes
How to overcome the passion of lust
First and foremost, if you find yourself struggling immensely with any particular sin, see your priest. Your spiritual father can help you adopt behaviors to better help you specifically. In general, though, the following things, if implemented faithfully over time, will help to curb your desires and will kill the spirit of lust inside you.
In this short talk, Father Spyridon talks about what lust truly is – lack of love for another. Our heart does not truly love others, and therefore we find it acceptable to lust after them. So the way to victory over this vice is by teaching our hearts to love as God does.
Now what are some actionable things we can do to help overcome lust? Let’s dive in!
1. Maintain a consistent prayer rule
Prayer is the Christian’s greatest weapon against the passions. By maintaining a consistent rule of prayer, both in the morning and evening, you actively put aside all earthly cares and focus only on communing with God. Your prayer rule need not be lengthy; speak with your priest about a prayer rule that would work best for you.
In your prayer rule, consider incorporating intercessory prayers to Saints who struggled with lust themselves. The four most well-known are St. Moses the Ethiopian, St. John the Longsuffering, St. Mary of Egypt, and St. Justina. Their intercessions will prove particularly efficacious, and you may find comfort in them.
Another helpful addition to your prayer rule, while you struggle with lust, are these Orthodox prayers for purity and chastity. And, as always, the Jesus Prayer is particularly powerful for convicting us of our sins and moving us to repentance.
2. Keep the fasts
Many Saints of the Church agree that indulgence in food is directly connected to indulgence in lust. When we regularly fast from certain foods in accordance with the Church’s calendar, we battle against our flesh and the sins it manifests. We tell ourselves, “No.” And practicing this kind of asceticism helps us to say “No,” when other temptations cross our path.
This means fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays, as well as following the prescribed Great Fasts and other prescribed fasting days throughout the year. Follow the fasts faithfully, to the best of your ability, and you will be amazed at how much less frequently you are drawn into temptation.
3. Daily spiritual reading
Take time out of your day to do some spiritual reading. Even if it is just a quarter of an hour, the time is beneficial to your spiritual growth and to the death of the passions. You can read from the lives of the Saints, the Bible itself, the writings of the Fathers, or other Orthodox spiritual books. If you are unsure about a particular book or where to start, ask your priest.
4. Attend the Divine services as often as possible
Whether we struggle against lust or not, we should still attend worship as often as possible. Being in the presence of God, worshiping Him with our fellow human beings, is cathartic for the soul. Not only that, but it is our means to access our healing and salvation through the Holy Mysteries.
Along with attending services, you should participate in the sacrament of Confession regularly. And any time you feel particularly attacked by lustful temptations, go to your priest as soon as possible to confess and work toward repentance. And having confessed your sins, partake of Christ’s Body and Blood in the Eucharist as often as possible (after proper preparation), which will further help to dispel the evil machinations and fantasies of your mind.
5. Run from the temptation the moment it appears
Remember: it is not the lustful thought entering your mind that makes you guilty; it is entertaining and dwelling upon that thought, keeping it there, that condemns you. If you find yourself having a lustful thought or fantasy, immediately distract yourself with something else. Recite the elements of the periodic table, perhaps, or list the ten commandments. Something rote that will require intellectual power and will turn your mind away from the thoughts it is having. You can also exercise or throw yourself into the kind of task that does not allow room for thought.
If you can physically remove yourself from proximity to whatever is causing the temptation, do so. Stay away from people, music, books, and movies that tempt you. When you are alone and vulnerable, the demons conjure images of these people and things to tempt you to sin once more.
Perhaps most importantly, do not give in to the lie that the temptation will not go away unless you pleasure yourself and find release. This is a demonic lie designed to rationalize your sin and make it “okay”, when it is anything but. Redirect your thoughts through prayer or whatever other means (perhaps a cold shower), and your body will return to normal.
6. Have marital relations with your spouse frequently
In addition to single men and women, many husbands and wives suffer from temptations of lust with someone who is not their spouse. Marriage is meant to be a protection against lust and a means to overcome it, but it can only be so if the spouses lie in the marriage bed together.
If you are married, and you suffer from this vice, perhaps the issue is lack of physical intimacy with your spouse. If you and your spouse have lost your intimacy, go together to your priest and discuss this. Try to get to the root of this loss of intimacy, and be ready and willing to accept responsibility for your part in it, whatever that may be. You and your husband/wife vowed before God to help one another achieve salvation. Remember that, and keep that at the forefront of any decisions you make in your marriage.
7. Spend time with other people
People who are lonely are more likely to struggle with feelings of lust and are more likely to view pornography. When we are lonely, we misguidedly believe that lusting after someone else will cure our loneliness, when in fact it has the opposite effect.
If you are lonely, spend time with loved ones and friends. When family lives in another city or state, call them on the phone or video chat. Spending time being social with other human beings is a vital part of your overall health and wellbeing. God made us as social creatures. Even most monks and nuns live together in community!
8. Look at Orthodox iconography
Porn is the Devil’s iconography. When you feel yourself starting to succumb to the temptation of watching porn or actively lusting after another person, gaze instead at Christ’s iconography: holy icons. His cross, His Saints, His mother. Fill your mind with divine images rather than lewd ones. Then, pray to Christ to help you battle the temptation, and He will come to your aid.
If you have a prayer corner set up in your home, go to it whenever you have tempting thoughts. Not at home most of the day? Keep pictures of some favorite icons on your cell phone, so you can look at them in moments of need throughout your day.
9. Continue to be faithful, even if you don’t feel like it.
When we struggle with particular sins for a sustained period of time, we can sometimes sink into despondency and despair. We feel that no matter what we do, we cannot overcome our sins. Or we overcome them for a time and then fall away once more. Such is the nature of life in this fallen world. And such is the nature of temptation and sin.
Our sins will return. We are fallen. And only by leaning on God and working in synergy with Him can we truly be free from the hold sin has over us. In that fight, you may not feel like being faithful. You may not feel like praying or fasting or going to church or actively battling temptation every second of every day. But you must do it anyway. Your emotions will follow.
Let us live a new life of self-control
Proverbs 25:28 tells us, “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.” Beloved faithful, the passion of lust is strong. But God’s mercy and forgiveness are stronger. Let us live a new life, the life that is pure, peaceful and righteous. We are not temples of lust, but temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19).
Yes, the world does seem to overflow with temptation and evil. Lust is now harder to forgive; we commit it without ever concealing it, flagrantly and shamelessly. Without remorse. But God is patient and loving. He goes toward us, looks for us and knocks on the door of our heart with the hand of His mercy. All we need to do now is open the door.
Keep Reading: Teaching Yourself (And Your Children) How To Pray